Monthly Archives: June 2015

F Street Station: The Cheeseburger

Writer’s block, cheeseburger block, what ever you want to call it.  I’ve eaten a lot of cheeseburgers in Anchorage and a lot of them are pretty fucking plain.  F Street doesn’t change the game.  Cuisine in Anchorage is very bland, across the board, the cheeseburgers are no different.  There is an unfortunate reality of the types of burgers, you have bar cheeseburgers, Chinese takeout/borderline fast food burgers, and then Tommy’s and Arctic Roadrunner.   To be honest, there are an infinite amount of better burgers in the lower 48 than those two.  But here I am, in Anchorage, eating mediocre burgers.  I’m not going to stop eating burgers, average burgers are better than no burgers, but seriously, how hard is it to make a cheeseburger?

F Street’s burger is alright, but not great.  It’s somewhere in the middle of the pack in Anchorage.  This is a good place to hang out, if you’re there and want a burger it will do.  I would suggest trying something else, but whatever.  Fuck it, their fries are decent but I’m over it, time to move on.

Just to put it out there I kind of like F Street as a bar.  They have some of the best fish and chips in town (although most places with halibut fish and chips have good fish and chips).  They have a huge block of Tillamook cheese at the bar that you can just eat.  So why am I so salty?  I have no idea.  I’m in a bad mood and F Street’s burger is taking the blunt of it.  All things considered I should be in a good mood.   Day two of a four-day week, whiskey before noon, the Warriors tied up the series last night, I’m dog sitting and took them up a mountain yesterday, I’ve shot my bow every day this week, and I’ve binge watched netflix almost every night.  So what the fuck?  I just want to hit a burger joint and be impressed.  Burgers in Anchorage are like the Detroit Lions.  Yeah, they show up every week, and I watch them every week, but even when they win they still disappoint.  They flash signs of brilliance on offense, but I’m pretty sure I could throw for 20 TD’s if I had Megatron on the other end of my passes.  Jump balls all day and that freak show will pull in about 80% of them.  Doesn’t mean Stafford is a pro-bowler.  Hell, they couldn’t do shit when they had arguably the greatest running back of all time, Barry Sanders.  The potential in Anchorage is huge.  The biggest city in the last frontier and is loaded with oil money.  Yet Humpy’s is one of my favorite places to eat.  It’s the Jason Hanson of bars.  He isn’t Barry Sanders, he is a kicker.  An old, reliable kicker.  Played more games for the Lions than anybody and is third in the NFL history in points scored.  Never lets you down, you know exactly what you are getting.  But how many #10 jersey’s do you see?  None.  Where am I going with this?  No idea.  I guess I’m still looking for that Barry Sanders burger, but I’ll always have the Jason Hanson.  Either way, I’m still rooting for the Lions.

Spenard Roadhouse: Bacon Jam Burger

As I sit here sipping on whiskey watching the NBA finals I thought to myself “Self, you should make another burger post that you have been slacking on for weeks you fucking slack ass.” Who am I to argue with myself.  I do have to make it known that I am rooting for Golden State in this year’s finals.  Usually once the Pistons are out I don’t care too much.  However, consider that in recent history that is usually by the all-star break, I’ve been trying to keep somewhat involved come playoff time.  Stephen Curry is like watching lightning strike. pure electricity and will shoot the lights out (even though he is struggling tonight).  I’m still impressed with the show he put on in the NCAA tourney a few years back.  That shit was legendary.  Also, I am a huge fan of any team playing anybody from Ohio.  Fuck Ohio, fuck Cleveland, fuck OSU, so on and so forth.

That out-of-the-way, let’s get to the Roadhouse.  This has been one of my favorite breakfast spots in the city since I’ve been up here.  They took a hit when they inexplicably took chicken and waffles off the menu, that shit was the bomb.  What they still have going for them is their excellent whiskey selection (yes, for breakfast, don’t judge me), and their bacon of the month.  It is what is sounds like, every month they have a new appetizer that is purely bacon focused.  Last one I tried was cubed pork belly with a watermelon jam for dipping.  The salty-sweet combo with the very thick pork belly was delectable.  This leads into the Bacon Jam Burger.  It’s not some fancy name, they actually have a jam made from bacon.  Typically I’m not all about the crazy ass burgers that some places like to put out there.  The bacon cheeseburger has worked since the dawn of burgers.  This is probably the craziest burger you will find on my list and it’s fucking out there.  The burger consists of a beef patty (obviously), bacon jam, cambozola, grilled apple, arugula, house mayo all on a toasted bun.  So if you are like me and have no idea was cabozola is, it is defined as ” a cow’s milk cheese that is a combination of a French soft-ripened triple cream cheese and Italian Gorgonzola.”  Or most often marketed as a blue brie.  With arugula and what not this is turning into one high maintenance burger.  All this does come together very nicely though.  The sweet-salty bacon jam cuts the cheese nicely, somehow that grilled apple slice makes up for the arugula on this burger that is kind of pointless other than color and that crisp lettuce texture that goes so well with a beef patty.  This is definitely one of the top burgers in Anchorage, but without trying the other “regular” burgers at the Roadhouse I’m going to hold of on ranking this place.  Roadhouse is a local restaurant that needs visiting, and this a burger that you won’t find anywhere else.  But it’s just a little too off the chart to make a reasonable comparison.  Plus it is pricey for a burger.  You upgrade to the super tots (mandatory by the way) and you are spending $20 on a burger.  The super tots are amazing, which you can also order and an appetizer.  They take tots, add cheddar, bacon, green onions and sour cream.  Fabulous.  Now, this game just went to overtime and I’m about hit my 4th glass of whiskey.  Later nerds.