F Street Station: The Cheeseburger

Writer’s block, cheeseburger block, what ever you want to call it.  I’ve eaten a lot of cheeseburgers in Anchorage and a lot of them are pretty fucking plain.  F Street doesn’t change the game.  Cuisine in Anchorage is very bland, across the board, the cheeseburgers are no different.  There is an unfortunate reality of the types of burgers, you have bar cheeseburgers, Chinese takeout/borderline fast food burgers, and then Tommy’s and Arctic Roadrunner.   To be honest, there are an infinite amount of better burgers in the lower 48 than those two.  But here I am, in Anchorage, eating mediocre burgers.  I’m not going to stop eating burgers, average burgers are better than no burgers, but seriously, how hard is it to make a cheeseburger?

F Street’s burger is alright, but not great.  It’s somewhere in the middle of the pack in Anchorage.  This is a good place to hang out, if you’re there and want a burger it will do.  I would suggest trying something else, but whatever.  Fuck it, their fries are decent but I’m over it, time to move on.

Just to put it out there I kind of like F Street as a bar.  They have some of the best fish and chips in town (although most places with halibut fish and chips have good fish and chips).  They have a huge block of Tillamook cheese at the bar that you can just eat.  So why am I so salty?  I have no idea.  I’m in a bad mood and F Street’s burger is taking the blunt of it.  All things considered I should be in a good mood.   Day two of a four-day week, whiskey before noon, the Warriors tied up the series last night, I’m dog sitting and took them up a mountain yesterday, I’ve shot my bow every day this week, and I’ve binge watched netflix almost every night.  So what the fuck?  I just want to hit a burger joint and be impressed.  Burgers in Anchorage are like the Detroit Lions.  Yeah, they show up every week, and I watch them every week, but even when they win they still disappoint.  They flash signs of brilliance on offense, but I’m pretty sure I could throw for 20 TD’s if I had Megatron on the other end of my passes.  Jump balls all day and that freak show will pull in about 80% of them.  Doesn’t mean Stafford is a pro-bowler.  Hell, they couldn’t do shit when they had arguably the greatest running back of all time, Barry Sanders.  The potential in Anchorage is huge.  The biggest city in the last frontier and is loaded with oil money.  Yet Humpy’s is one of my favorite places to eat.  It’s the Jason Hanson of bars.  He isn’t Barry Sanders, he is a kicker.  An old, reliable kicker.  Played more games for the Lions than anybody and is third in the NFL history in points scored.  Never lets you down, you know exactly what you are getting.  But how many #10 jersey’s do you see?  None.  Where am I going with this?  No idea.  I guess I’m still looking for that Barry Sanders burger, but I’ll always have the Jason Hanson.  Either way, I’m still rooting for the Lions.

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