As I sit here watching the Army-Navy game less than a week from last day of active duty I started thinking…I’ve done some shit in my life. I’ve lived and traveled in foreign lands. I’ve met hundreds if not thousands of interesting people. There have been exotic women, classy women, trashy women, basic bitches, bad bitches and sometimes no bitches. I’ve jumped out of an airplane in the pitch black night in the dead of an Alaskan winter. Drank enough whiskey in a night that might kill a lesser man. Hell, I even had to bribe a cop in Monterrey, Mexico one time to stay out of jail for what equates to around $3.50 (my travel advice, always carry a 20 spot of whatever the local currency is). I’ve gone big game hunting, done fly in fishing trips, gutted a deer. The list goes on and on. But there is always that thing that every man feels he is missing in life. Today I think I figured what I’m missing.
A fucking championship belt. I have never done anything in my life that has afforded me the privileged of walking around like the 2004 Pistons, just look at them, its magnificent. They owned the NBA for an entire season after they tore apart the Lakers “dynasty” team and rubbed it in everyone’s face when the walked out of that tunnel. I want that in my life. I want to have a shiny gold piece around my waist showing that I am the greatest. I obviously cannot win an NBA championship but I will find a way to get that belt. Watch out America, I’m taking this to the next level. I’m about the discount double check some mother fuckers right.