Tag Archives: America

Red’s: Blues Burger

Bonus post for today.  I’ve been slacking on my posts as of late.  I’m not sorry about it, I’ve been busy…drinking…and other things.  Anyway, this post is going back to late summer.  I’ve been putting it off since it is outside of Anchorage.  I was down in Seward doing some halibut fishing (see the pictures, we slayed that shit).  It also happened to be when the POTUS was cruising around Alaska.  It sucked a little bit when we had to wait in the harbor for an hour while my Commander in Chief decided to go out for a little boat ride.  This was a free charter fishing trip through the Army’s BOSS program (Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers).  It was a 4 day paid trip to Seward for some of the best fishing in the world.  Stayed at a military resort they have down there that was decent.  My favorite part was the bar (shocking), and the grill your own steak dinner.  Fucking money.  They just give a big old slab of beef and let you go nuts on the grill while you’re drinking.  How awesome is that? It was a 4 day trip that had two days of fishing planned, however day one of fishing was canceled because of weather.  So I basically walked around Seward for a couple days trying to hit every bar they have to offer.  Mission accomplished.  My new friend, Hannah, saw this burger joint on the north side of town so we went and checked it out.  Best idea of the weekend (well, other than sneaking a fifth of whiskey onto the boat).

This joint is basically a food truck they built a little wooden shack around.  If you don’t like food trucks then I don’t like you.  In typical Alaska fashion their menu offers a slew of game meat patties you can get on any of the burgers. Another gimmick this place has going for it is that they took and old school bus and basically gutted it and turned it into a dining area.  I went of card since I was out of town and strayed from the typical cheeseburger option.  I went with the Blues Burger which is your standard patty with steak sauce, a healthy serving of blue cheese and topped with an onion ring.  It was like there was a party in my mouth.  I wish this place was in Anchorage because it would rival Tommy’s.  I’m not saying this because I was drunk and walked like 2 miles to get there, it was actually really good.  I had already had a burger at the brewery earlier that day and this blew it out of the water.  I love burgers so I was obviously excited to eat one.  But this was different.  It is like when you are going to see a movie you are really anticipating.  Like when I saw the new Bond movie this last weekend.  I’m going to like it because its a Bond movie, but then I find out they have this hot like number, Lea Seydoux, who looks like a young Amy Smart with a better rack.  Double bonus.  Just takes it to another level.  So to any of my peeps out there who are going to be in Seward any time soon (well, next summer because it basically shuts down in the winter) hit up Red’s, you won’t be disappointed.
  
  

Tommy’s Burger Stop: The Sicilian Mobster

There are only a few things that bring me to a state of pure jubilation.  Touching boobs, beer, a good day fishing, a good cheeseburger (obviously), and until this last weekend, football.  I was going to go on a long rant about the Michigan game, or the Seahawk’s game, but that would take away from what I have to say about this burger. and I’m really trying to move on.  This masterpiece deserves no negative context along side its glory.  So let me compare it to boobs.  Everyone loves boobs.  For the most part, bad boobs are still good, however, great boobs go into the history books.  This burger is like great boobs.  Any good man knows that it’s not all about size.  At a certain point it starts to become a novelty.  Don’t get me wrong, a novelty is great from time to time, but it doesn’t last, and you get tired of it quick.  This is true with burgers as well.  This burger is big enough that you definitely get your fill.  Could I have eaten more?  Of course.  Was I left satisfied?  Abso-fucking-lutely.  Not every burger needs to be a Heidi Montag, and to be honest, I would rather have a Marisa Miller every day over a Mia Khalifa.  Once you start serving up Heidi’s you start crossing the line into cuisine for fun and not cuisine for quality.  Plus we all know more than a handful is risking it anyway.  Could I continue to the eat this burger over and over again?  Yes, the answer is yes

When I first read the ingredients that went into this beautiful son of a bitch, I was a little skeptical thinking they added too much.  5.5 oz Australian beef patty, loaded with grilled mozzarella, balsamic onions and pepperoncinis, topped with house bacon jam.  I was very wrong.  The balsamic onions were a little sweet and didn’t give that overwhelming vinegar tinge, but cut the bacon jam perfectly with a slight tartness.  Just look at that grilled mozzarella too.  A lovely golden brown tan like it has been sun bathing on the beaches of Barcelona for weeks (which are topless beaches, FYI). Throw the rest on with a side of cajun fries and you have yourself a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model of a burger.  Only downside is that this was a special and no longer available.  But the good thing about swimsuit models is that once they are gone, there is always a new one to replace it.  So if you missed it, hit up Tommy’s for their new special, you will not be disappointed.  This burger took Tommy’s to the top of the Anchorage Rankings, breaking its tie with the Arctic Roadrunner, and I don’t see it losing the top spot before I leave in 2 months.  
  

Nitro Burger: The Nitro Burger

There aren’t a lot of people that read this blog and those that do (holla) are mostly my military buddies up here in Alaska.  So for the few that aren’t and were not on this 11 day field exercise I will explain a little bit how shitty going to the field is.  First of all, it’s not like your family camping trip, you don’t plan around the weather.  It is safe to assume that if you are going to the field it is going to rain.  No tent, no campfire, no booze, pretty much take every thing that you like about camping and throw it off a bridge into a fiery river of misery.  Next, we don’t get to drive there, no, we sit crammed into a flying tin can with about 75lbs of “equipment” that they tell you to pack sitting on your lap cutting off circulation to your legs while wearing a 50lb parachute on a mesh seat.  I don’t care how scared of heights you are there is nothing that will stop you from hitting that door with the same furry as Kam Chancellor hitting a TE from San Fran.  Then you get about 45 seconds of relief before smashing all 300lbs of yourself and gear onto a goddamn runway.  No matter how good you are at PLF’s, you pretty much feel like you got hit by a truck.  This is then followed by 4 days for carrying heavy shit around, sleeping in the rain, and cramming an MRE (meal-ready-to-eat) into your pie hole when you get the chance.  So, with that background knowledge bomb all up in your head, I’ll get to this burger.

On the way back from this field event, they decided to bus us straight to a second field event.  The one perk the entire time was that we got to stop in Glenn Allen to get some snacks, drop a grumpy, or whatever you want to do.  This is the first time that this food truck was there, Nitro Burger.  The new guy in my section said he stopped there on his way up here and they have some bomb burgers.  No brainer, I’m getting a burger and smashing it into my face.  I of course go with their signature ‘Nitro Burger.’ This burger consists of 1/3lb burger patty, sausage patty, two cheeses, bacon, grilled onions and jalapenos. It looks unimposing in the picture, and it all reality it probably was.  But after a 4 day suck fest and eating MRE’s it tasted like the best thing I put in my mouth since that last fish taco I ate.  I will give them props that their patties are all fresh pressed and one of the things they do with their other burgers is mix different ingredients into the patty that adds a tremendous amount of flavor to the meat, which should be the focal point of your burger.  With the Nitro the sausage patty had a rich sage flavor to it that overpowered the beef patty.  Don’t get me wrong, sausage is great, in the military I’ve been to my fair share of sausagefests, however, I wanted a burger.  The way I would describe it is like this.  You meet this great girl and you guys start dating.  Things pick up a little bit, nothing super serious, but enough that stop trolling for strange.  So she decides to have you over for a dinner party with a bunch of her friends.  Well you get dressed to impress and are ready to convince the jury that you are worthy only to find out that her friend is banging hot.  Now for the entire party you are distracted by her hot friend in the tube top and mostly forget about your wonderful burger patty to the point you get yourself in trouble.  Overall an enjoyable evening, but when you leave you really forgot what your original intentions where.  But in about 85 days when I begin Cheeseburgers Across America, I will definitely stop and try one of their other burgers.  If you ever drive through Alaska, Glenn Allen will be on your way and I suggest you stop and get a sammie from these bitches.

The Alaska State Fair

Today marks the glorious return of the NFL.  First game of the season, which they call Sunday Night Football on Thursday night because they are a bunch of unoriginal fucktards.   Same reason that when any quasi-scandal happens they immediately call it whatever-gate.  Deflategate, spygate, Dick-selfie-gate, or whatever we are going to have this year.  They even dubbed the interception last year the “Immaculate Interception.”  They had an entire off-season to come up with something, but no, they just spit out some recycled shit from like 30 years ago.  In the 2 minutes I’ve been writing I could come up with something better…”The Superbowl Giveaway.”  See, not hard.  It wasn’t even that great but it is better than what they put out.  Why even try to be clever though when people are going to watch anyway.  That’s why people like John Madden and Joe Buck have careers.  You could have John Madden farting on a xylophone for 2.5 hours and people would still just mute it and watch the game.  But I digress.  Thursday night football also means that my posts will be more regular.  Eat a cheeseburger on Wednesday, write about it on Thursday while watching football.  Unfortunately they closed the sports bar on post that I would frequent and drink (by myself) while writing.  So now I have to sneak my booze into the day room in the barracks, use the free wi-fi and order pizza.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  Here is my Thursday night football kick off.

I’ve eaten a lot of burgers since my last post.  Don’t worry, you will hear about them.  However, I’m kicking off the blog season with a post about the Alaska State Fair.  I grew up in Puyallup, Washington.  A small/medium-sized town in the suburbs of Seattle (hence my love of the Seahawks).  Puyallup has the 4th largest fair in the country.  The fair is a big deal and growing up there is “fair day.” From elementary school through high school on fair day you get a free ticket and a day off of school to attend the Puyallup Fair.  It is not just locally, it is all of western Washington.  Everything from the pig races to the scones to the hypnotist are fond memories of every Washingtonian’s childhood/adulthood.  I love fairs but my 15 years in Michigan deprived me of this joy.  When I got stationed in Alaska and people talked about the fair I got excited.  As an adult a care less about the rides and the pig races as much as I care about the food and the beer tents.  With my memories of the Puyallup Fair there was no way I was not going to be disappointed even though I knew not to get excited.  Outside of the 2×4 Jenga, the beer tents were Alaska priced and disappointing, the rides lacked, people watching was prime (but that is true anywhere in Alaska), but the food…the food fucking killed it.

The first place (besides the Sluice Box) that I had to hit was Gourmet Burgers, home of the famous “Doughnut Burger.”  They have some other burgers on the menu that look absolutely delicious but a fair is the for the freak show.  This is by far the most novel burger I have tried.  It is basically a breakfast with a burger patty.  You get your burger with bacon, cheddar, a fried egg all sandwiched between a glazed doughnut.  It was delicious, and at the same time it is nothing I will ever eat again.  You have to try it, but if I wasn’t at a fair I would never think about getting this monstrosity of calories.  I would compare it to a fancy McGriddle, only it cost me about 5x as much.  It is the burger version of an Alaskan strip club.  You know it’s expensive, you know it’s not that great, you go for it anyway, and yet you have zero regrets when it is all over.

Second stop was M.A.’s Gourmet Dogs…immediately after the burger.  M.A.’s has been featured on T.V. but I can’t remember what shows.  They do have one of the best reindeer sausage in town and there are some bomb.com reindeer sausage carts downtown.  I decided to switch it up since I don’t think I could pick a best reindeer sausage in town and see what else they had.  I went with their Louisiana Hot Link, I added sauerkraut, Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Mustard, and Sriracha.  Fuck yeah.  I even got props from the vendor for my creativity in condiments.  The first thing I noticed though was that the link filled up the bun in a matrimonial pairing.  Next, the link was spicy, add the Sriracha, sweet mustard and cut from the sauerkraut and it’s a party in your mouth.  If any one visits me in the next 3 months, I will take you to M.A.’s downtown, you’re welcome in advance.

Third and final food stop was on the way out. After all the shenanigans I had enough money left over for some tacos for myself and my friends as we departed.  We wondered the grounds searching for what looked like the best tacos and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t wrong.  It just said “Steak Tacos.” Sold.  Solidly filled with seasoned steak, all the taco fixings and their spicy salsa.  Now, I have had better tacos in many places outside of Mexico.  Mexican Town in Detroit, Southern California, pretty much anywhere in the lower 48.  But in Alaska you have some bullshit Mexican so this was a nice treat.  One taco is not much but this is pretty much a fair spot.  Only grip I have is that they use one soft corn tortilla.  That shit falls apart when you look at it wrong.  You need two to hold that glory together.  But their salsa made up for it, so I’ll give em a break.  Plus they are raping consumers with fair prices and cutting corners, can’t blame them it was the end of the night either, they may have been running low.  I’d eat it again.

All in all the fair trip was a success.  Big Jenga, good food and Alaskan beer all with good friends.  And now that I have drank about half a fif of Evan Williams and eat a whole large pizza its time for me to chill and watch the end of this game…and maybe finish that fif and regret it tomorrow at PT.  Deuces.

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AmVets: The Heart Attack Special

I enjoy a good food challenge from time to time.  Shit, I’ve been known to eat a monster sandwich when the opportunity arises.  Reminds me of one of my favorite motivational quotes…”Any pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard enough”…  Not exactly sure who said that but it was probably somebody awesome like Ghandi, or Carrot Top.  This brings me to the Heart Attack Special.  As you can see on the menu below this beast packs enough meat to choke Pamela Anderson.  With 1/2 pound of beef, 1/2 pound of spicy Italian sausage, ham, bacon, 6 slices of cheese and a fried egg it’ll fill you up.  They also, don’t use buns, they use grilled cheese sandwiches to hold this glorious bastard together.

A good friend of mine has been talking about taking me to this event for a while and it never lined up in our schedules until now.  It happens on Friday’s during the winter months here in Anchorage (so almost year round) and the reviews have been well received.   Another friend of mine just got back from Kosovo and we decided to move our weekly Ale House visit to the burger party.  People underestimate my stomach all the time, its OK, I don’t hold it against them.  But when they start talking shit is when I have to put them in their place.

I was late to the party do to a ‘work event’ that went about 5 hours longer than it should have.  My friend, I’ll call him Nancy for the amount he bitched, decided to order the Heart Attack as well, in an effort to show me up before I could even get there.  Of course I got berated with text messages and pictures of Nancy eating this burger while I’m putting in real work.  I don’t know the exact head start Nancy had, but it was at least 45 minutes.  He She was down to about 4 bites left by the time I got there.  I still came within minutes of slaying this beast in his her face. All I heard was excuses about his huge vagina small stomach, the sausage was too hot, so on and so forth.  It took me roughly 25 minutes to put this one in the book.  I’ll give Nancy some credit, she finished though (unlike most girls I take out).  So he she can write home about that.

I think there is another burger night left this season, and I’ll head back for a real cheeseburger.  This was a great burger but no way I can put it in the running for best burger in Anchorage.  It would be like putting Miguel Cabrera up against a high school kid in a home run derby.  They don’t even belong in the same ball park.  The Heart Attach was delicious on top of being a novelty.  Everything about it makes me think this place has some good as burgers.  Fat cooks, juicy patties and melty cheese.  Keep an eye out for another review on this place.  Hopefully Nancy will have manned up by then.

    

Tommy’s Burger Stop: The Bacon Cheeseburger

So, I’ve been a little M.I.A. since I got back from the desert.  2015 hasn’t been one for the ages (yet) so I have wasted spent some time catching up on my drinking and chasing some tail around Anchorage.  The jury is still out on how well I did with one, or both of those endeavors.  Either way it was enjoyable.  Throw Fur Rondy in the middle of that and I guess I’ve been “busy.”  Enough excuses, I did eat a burger that was fucking phenomenal.  Previously I had Tommy’s holding down the number three spot in Anchorage with Long Branch.  I have had several conversations about this because many people will argue it the top spot.  It had been about 8 months or so since the last time I went, and this visit put them in a tie with the Roadrunner.

This time I went with the standard bacon cheeseburger, the first time I went I had a jalapeno burger.   This burger though, with two cheeses melted on and some bacon that screamed ‘put me on a burger,’ was magnificent.  All their patties are Cajun seasoned.  I got there later in the evening, and they are always busy, so all that goodness cooked into the grill cooked into my burger and gave the beef patty and immaculate flavor.  This burger was like the first time I watched Desperado.  You know any Robert Rodriquez movie will be good so you want to watch it, then you find out you get a Tarantino and Cheech cameo with Salma Hayek doing full frontal.  Instant classic (side note, if you get a chance check out El Mariachi, the movie that made Desperado possible).

Other notes about Tommy’s is that my friend (who is being so lady like in the picture) got the blue cheeseburger and I was slightly jelly.  The slab of blue cheese they threw on there was cooked on the grill first and looked goddamn amazing sitting on top of that patty.  I will be eating that soon.  However, Tommy’s is small, really small, even smaller in the winter time with out the 3 extra tables they have outside. So seating is premium.  Fuck character, give me some space where I don’t have to listen to a kid yelling 2 feet away.  They also have a good, but expensive selection of beverages (also cheap fountains) which includes some Mexican Coke.  It’s a much different selection of burgers than the Roadrunner which makes it hard to pick a clear winner between the two.  After I try some more at Tommy’s it might change.

Baby’s Badass Burgers: The Original Beauty

As I sit here during my last night in this shit hole called Fort Irwin I feel it’s appropriate to make my final review. Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, and as is tradition I don’t have a date. But hey, at least I got fucked this year (thanks Obama…). Baby’s Badass Burgers (or Titty Burger as my brothers in Comanche Co so affectionately dubbed it) is close enough, and probably more satisfying anyway. We all I know how I feel about my burgers. The name Titty Burger came about either due to the pin ups painted on the truck, or because the girl taking your order coincidentally wears very low-cut shirts and has to bend over to take your order. Hard to say no to that $3.00 can of soda with those headlights shining right in your eyes. I wouldn’t say it isn’t worth it since we have been living on cots in a warehouse with 150 other dudes for almost 40 days.

This is the burger truck I wanted to try in the first place when I had to go to that turd factory, Varsity Grill. If you happen to watch shitty reality TV, I hate you, but you have also probably heard of this place already. They appeared on ‘The Shark Tank’ where people pitch their stupid ideas in hopes that rich people will “invest” in them. Baby’s also claims best burger in LA according to the Travel Channel. Getting food advice from the Travel Channel would be the equivalent of getting your political advice from P. Diddy.

All that aside though this burger was tits. Just all around fantastic. I’m not giving it extra points because I’ve been eating field chow for the last 5 weeks either. The Original Beauty comes with swiss cheese melted over sautéed onions and mushroom with Baby’s Sauce. Thick, juicy, hand pressed patties cooked to perfection. A good pink throughout the patty that would drip on your hands with out disintegrating the bun. I would say that 90% of the time when a place has their own “sauce” it is just thousand island. Not the Baby’s, it was actually an original flavor that complimented the beefiness superbly. Couldn’t tell you what it was but I liked it. I may never know if this is the best burger in LA (not that I won’t try) but it blows the pants off almost all the shit I get in Anchorage. The fries where on point as well. Reminded me of the ghetto fries the cook would make us back at Kettering in Flint, MI. Whatever seasoned salt they used did the trick. In conclusion, if you get a chance you should flag down this food truck, it’s what dreams are made of.

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Some BBQ Place: Ribs and Potato Salad

I had a nice review lined up for this place because it wasn’t bad. It’s a food truck that stands up for the food truck community. Unlike the garbage Varsity Grill. But after yesterday’s Super Bowl I’m more or less at a loss for words.

It wasn’t the best ribs I’ve ever had, my own are much better, but they didn’t stick to the bone and were nice and meaty. They make their own BBQ sauce that was pretty good but the authentic smokey flavor was slightly astray.

Outside of that it was your basic Dallas Cowboys. Lots of hype, looks good on paper and fools most people into thinking it’s better than it is. Surprise mother fuckers, this isn’t my first rodeo, I know better. I heard lots of people talk it up and I attribute that to those same people eating army chow for 3 straight days before trying it. They have obviously never been to a real BBQ joint, or stopped at the Rite Aid parking lot of Wixom Road where that one brother sets up his giant BBQ and sells that shit out of his truck. That’s some good BBQ. Everything here was pretty much off the shelf items like Heinz mustard with Costco potato salad, coleslaw and rolls. I didn’t try the baked beans, but I’m not worried I missed anything.

But really, how do you not give the ball to Marshawn?

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Sami’s Varsity Grill: 1/3lb Cheeseburger

As I sit here at Ft. Irwin approaching the half way point to this little “adventure” I am realizing that my posts are almost non-existent. Mostly because there isn’t much to report on here, and it’s also a pain to post from my phone. However, there were a couple of opportunities for some cuisine that doesn’t come from plastic packaging.

When we first got here and shacked up in the RUBA there was a handful of food trucks that gave the soldiers an option to buy some food. Yes, the army chow provided is “free,” but it is only served twice a day, so lunch you can either eat an MRE or buy something. I personally love food trucks, as any freedom loving American should. If you have ever been to Portland it’s part of the culture of the city. You can even download an app that will tell you everything you need to know about all the food trucks around the city. New York has the hot dog carts, pretzel carts and falafel stands on almost every corner. Anchorage has the reindeer sausage stands all over downtown that sell some bomb ass sausages and brats well into the late night/early morning hours. If you ever get the chance to hit up Arts, Beats and Eats in Royal Oak, MI I would highly suggest it, food trucks like whoa. Hell, even in Juarez, Mexico if you want a tasty treat go find the cholo slanging tacos on the side of the road.

Down here I was trying to save some money to spend on booze when I get back to Alaska by eating as much army chow as possible. However, as hard as I tried I couldn’t resist the allure of the food trucks. When I finally broke down I obviously went for the cheeseburger stand.

The line wasn’t that long, maybe seven people in front of me. Well, an hour later I finally got to put in my order. Yes, one whole fucking hour at a food truck. Shit, at half an hour I thought about walking away but I committed at that point. I gave them the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe they were cooking them as they were ordered. They also serve hot dogs so maybe not everyone is ordering a burger (not really sure how hot dogs would slow things down though). I finally get to the front of the line and the mother fuckers aren’t even using the grill at this time. Ol’ Boy is back there cleaning the grill, and Fat Boy gets me my 1/3 pound burger out of a warming tray. On top of this, they were out of bacon. Once I finally got the chance to eat this burger it was plain as fuck. Not really any other way to explain it. The bun was fine, the cheese melted but the patty itself was just kind of there and was cooked very very thoroughly. I should have just hit up an MRE if I knew I was going to be this disappointed.

So, if you see this rolling turd of a food truck serving up burgers in your area, avoid it. Not only will you be disappointed, you will be late for wherever you were going. Even if you have nowhere to be at anytime in particular, you will be late and unsatisfied. They also claim “World famous chili cheese dogs.” Sorry broskie, you aren’t National or American Coney Island so nobody gives a shit about your hot dogs. All you really need is some ball parks, Hormel and a bucket of cheese wiz and you have a solid chili cheese dog. You could even switch out the ball park with a cardboard tube and I’d probably still eat the mother fucker. Not even going to waste my time on their fries, there is no point.

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Player Hater’s Ball

Unless you live on Mars I’m pretty sure you either saw or heard about the Seahawks bat shit crazy win over the Packers in the NFC title game. The Seahawks basically gave the Packers a 56 minute head start then finally said it was go time to make it to their second consecutive Super Bowl. As a Seahawks fan it made me pee a little. If you are a Seahawks hater you probably peed a little too. As a lifetime sports fan there is only one thing I know for sure, people love a winner. This is when the general populous stars throwing around the term “bandwagon fans.” It’s inevitable. You see it even in your home markets. When I first moved to Michigan I would go to Tiger’s game, often by myself. This was because they were on the verge of losing 115 games and nobody wanted to go. Even with a brand new stadium they couldn’t get more than 10,000 fans in the ballpark. Now, it’s standing room only on weekends and big games. Everyone loves a winner.

Success brings out another type of “fan,” the haters. I have seen the Seahawks latest success breed more new haters than new bandwagon fans. These are the people who call you a bandwagon fan because you have a new game jersey. Well the Seahawks changed their uniform 3 years ago and have a slew of new superstars, of course you are going to see them at the bar. You want to know why teams update their jerseys? So they can sell them and make money. It could be someone who still has their Steve Largent jersey in their closet at home but feels like repping a Kam Chancellor uniform because he is bad mother fucker. These haters are much much more annoying than the bandwagon fans. They claim everyone is a bandwagon fan. They never cared who was a Hawks fan before they finally noticed the team from the northwest beating everybody with a swagger not seen since the ’85 Bears. When the Seahawks were losing nobody even thought twice about them outside of the NFC West, but now that they are in the forefront of the NFL people are tired of watching them beat their team. Most of these haters have already forgot Seattle was in Super Bowl 40 in Detroit. In reality the Seahawks have had a great fan base for years before their recent success.

December of 1984 the Seahawks retired the #12 in honor of their fans. The No Fun League subsequently instituted new noise rules the following year that nobody really cares about. After their new stadium was built the organization was even accused of pumping crowd noise into the stadium. The crowd noise that set the Guinness world record was 137.6 decibels, only 12.4 decibels below rupturing your ear drums. That’s fucking loud. It can actually be noticed at near by seismic research facilities. This noise does make for a nice home field advantage, leading the league in opponent false starts.

Personally, I welcome “bandwagon fans.” Part of winning is expanding your market share to make money, and pumped that back into the organization. Whether you’re a new fan or an OG fan doesn’t make a difference to me. I used to be the only one at bars wearing my Alexander jersey and would be sitting by myself, but now there are people to bullshit with wherever I go. It’s part of the experience. Sure they might not know who Cortez Kennedy is, but they sure as shit know the current roster. People have to root for someone, there only two teams left playing so go ahead and pick one. Unless you’re from Wisconsin or lost money on that game, I find it hard to believe that you didn’t get excited watching that finish last weekend. Haters are going to hate, ballers are going to ball, it’s science. But if you want to come into the bar wearing a brand new #3 jersey, there is always room at my table.

Go Hawks!